Who Do You Think You Are?
by xx-Catch-me-if-you-can-xx
Summary: The South Park Gang prepares themselves for the first day of Middle School. Grade 7. All of the boys have a different look on what it will be like. Some excitement, some fear and some uncertainty. Join Kenny, Kyle, Cartman and Stan as they go to Middle School. (And since its South Park, there is some mature language.)
1. The Beginning of Grade 7

**~The Beginning of Grade 7~****_**

Kenny McCormick jumped from out of his bed and into his orange parka, which still looked like new even though he had had it since he was born. His surroundings were all nasty and trashy-looking. This was because his family was poorer than the rats living in the sewer. The only income they got was how much their mom made at the Olive Garden washing dishes. Looking at his poster of a models double-d 'titties' he tilted his head to the right and imagined his longtime girlfriend, Tammy's head on top. Smiling, he walked out of his room and into the kitchen. He poured himself what was left of the Cheerios, quickly scarfed them down and ran out the door to the bus stop.

Kyle Broflovski rolled swiftly out of his covers and slipped on his pants. His skinny body was easily slipped into the sleeves of his blue t-shirt and over top his orange coat was placed. His huge red Jew-fro was hidden in his green winter hat. Kyle looked around his room and found his green gloves. He then went downstairs and greeted his Jewish parents a good morning. He ate his breakfast and walked to the bus stop.

Eric Cartman's eyes popped right open once his alarm sounded. "GODDAMNIT." He yelled as he raised himself from his mattress that had a blue sheet on it. "Clyde Frog, what do you think Middle School will be like?" Eric asked his stuffed frog. He then imitated to be the frogs voice by saying, "It will be a living Hell for you, Eric. You're just a fatass piece of shit." Eric frowns and yells, "HEY." He slips his so called, 'big boned' body into his clothing and wears his red winter jacket, followed by a blue hat with a yellow pom-pom on top. He, like Kyle and Kenny, had breakfast (Cheesy poofs and chicken pot pie… I know, pretty bad) and set off to the bus stop.

Stan Marsh was up before his alarm even beeped or his mom could pester him to get up. He was up since 5:00 am getting ready for, what he liked to call it, his 'big day'. He was going to ask Wendy out again, and this time, specially. His somewhat muscle-y body was in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. Over top was his winter gear, a brown coat with a blue hat that had a red pom-pom on top. He winked in the mirror as he walked out of his room. He had breakfast and walked out to meet his friends at the bus stop.


	2. Kyle is WHAT!

**~Kyle is...WHAT?!~**

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman met up at the bus stop.

"Hey bitches." Cartman said while straightening his shirt. "Its days like these, Kyle, I'm happy I'm not you." Kyle frowned at the fat 13 year-old.

"Why fatass? I'm so attractive no one can stand it?" Kyle pulled off his hat, revealing his ever so nicely shaped jew-fro. "I believe you have no better comeback." He said smiling, slyly. Cartman crossed his arms and replied,

"How many times do I have to tell you Kyle, I'm just big boned not fat! Actually, I was going to say because I'm not a faggy jew, dumb ass. All the girls like me more than you."

"Cartman, Kyle, if the girls like any of us, its me." Stan winked flexing his bold arms.

" girls all want my dick, you pussies." Kenny muffled under his coat. The, the the bus rolled up. When the boys walked on, something just wasn't right. Clyde and Craig were sitting with all of the girls. How unusual… Kyle thought. When they walked on, no girls were paying attention to the boys, not even Wendy. Stan sorrowfully sat on the seat, wishing Wendy would notice him. Then, another girl was picked up at the bus stop. She was a blonde and looked alot like Bebe. Although it didn't look exactly like Bebe. She looked cooler. It was Bebe, but she was completely made over. She looked fucking gorgeous. Stan, Kyle and Kenny were drooling over her as she took the seat beside Kyle.

"Hey Bebe…" Kyle smiled nervously.

"Oh hey Kyle! How are you?" Bebe said excitedly.

"I'm great, Bebe. How are you?" Kyle replied.

"I'm quite well. I have to tell you something…" Bebe got quiet.

"Sure, Bebe. Anything." Kyle whispered, hoping she was going to confess her deep love for him.

"Okay," Bebe took a deep breath. "I...I...I love…"

"Who? You can tell me."

"I like you…" Kyle was shocked at what he heard. Bebe frowned. "Sorry."

"Huh? Don't be sorry, its just a part of life." The bus stopped at the school and Kyle went up to Cartman's face and bragged. "Who's more attractive now!?" Kyle told Cartman all about Bebe's confession.

"B-but you're a fucking JEW! What does that despo want with you? I'm alot more attractive." Eric stuck up his nose.

"Well, buddy, tell that to Bebe." Bebe walked past Kyle, and Kyle smiled sexily and waved.

"I heard she had herpes, Kyle my jew-home-boy." Cartman sighed.

"Nope. She looks clean to me." Kyle frowned.

"I meant she has syphilis. Pretty contagious, bro." Cartman put his arm around Kyle.

"No she doesn't. I would be able to tell you stupid faggot!" Kyle pushed Cartman off of him.

"Cancer. Yes, thats what I meant." Cartman smiled.

"Thats not contagious dummy. And she'd be losing hair or she'd be experiencing some symptoms." Then, Kyle walked off.

"GODDAMN HIM TO JEWISH HELL!" Cartman screamed. But, he had a genius plan and went to talk to Bebe.

Kyle met up with Bebe and said, "Bebe, I kinda like you too." Bebe dropped her books.

"I...I don't like you anymore." Bebe looked shocked.

"Why?" Kyle looked confused.

"Cartman just told me that you're gay."

"I'm not fucking gay. Cartman's just a faggot and he's the gay one. I promise Bebe." Bebe then sighed.

"I hope not. Okay. Talk to you later Kyle." Kyle was pissed off.


	3. OH MY GOD THAT SLUT

**~OH MY GOD THAT SLUT!~**

After Kyle tried to explain to Bebe he wasn't gay, Kenny was going to talk to his friends.

"Hey guys…" he projected from his orange parka. Stan and Cartman looked back.

"Oh hey Kenny." Cartman said.

"What's wrong man?" Stan looked at his young friend.

"I saw Tammy giving Clyde a BJ," Kenny faced down. "She can really get into it, but like you said in grade 4 Cartman, she's a notorious whore. But damn, did that bitch have talent."

"Holy shit dude," Stan put his arm on Kenny.

"It's okay, though." Kenny lifted Stans hand from him. "I guess I'm over her already."

"Really? You must be immortal or something," Cartman laughed. "No one gets over a diss like that so fast. I'm fabulous, though, so I don't have to worry."

"How do you know I'm not?" Kenny pulled up his sleeves.

Cartman sighed very dramatically, "Because to be immortal, you have to die but come back to life, duh." Cartman crossed his arms, snobbishly.

"Whatever fatass." Kenny rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I'm gonna go see Bebe. She looks like she wants the 'K Jr.'"

"Isnt it the 'D', Kenny?" Stan frowned.

"I called my penis Kenny Jr." Kenny walked past them. He met Bebe in the gym. She was serving a volleyball across the gym, but it hit the net and fell onto the ground.

"Nice try, hottie." Kenny blasted up some music, then, he tossed the ball into the air and jumped to forcefully hit the ball perfectly into the court. Bebe stood with her mouth open, when Wendy came in. Kenny's jaw dropped and waved to Wendy. Holy shit! How come all these girls are so fucking sexy?! He thought.

"Hey Kenny," Wendy handed him a note. "Tammy said to give it to you." Kenny ripped up the paper and said,

"I no longer care about that slut," Kenny stuck up his nose and perfectly hit another few balls. "I fancy a few others now," Then, he started to do some lines.

"Like who, Kenny…" Bebe rubbed against him, and he turned red.

"Like," Kenny scratched his neck. "Some other girls." And he returned to doing his lines.

"Oh nice," Wendy straightened out her skirt. "See you guys later," Kenny caught her attention.

"Wendy, your skirt looks fine," Kenny smiled and said out of breath. "But it would look better as a mini skirt." He winked.

"You bet your ass!" she giggled as she walked out. Fuck yeah! Kenny thought. But then, Tammy walked in.

"Did you just tell her her ass is good looking?!" She yelled pointing at the door Wendy just walked out of.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Its better then giving some random wanker a blowjob."

"I know Clyde," she frowned. "And I also know that its over between us."

"Oh that was my call, you dipshit." He served some balls and Tammy left. Bebe was shocked at both of them.

"Are you glad you called it quits with that bitch or what?" Bebe served a ball, catching on to Kenny's skill.

"I guess so." And the rest was silent. School ended and everyone went home.

Kenny got home and wiped his shoes onto the floor. He ran across the house, got to the T.V. and watched some Terrance and Phillip with his brother and sister. He still laughed his hardest when that program was played. Then, his dad barged in the house drowsy and drunk. His dad started yelling at all the children and grabbed an empty beer bottle.

"COME HERE YOU PUSSIES." He started walking around the house. Kenny grabbed his sisters hand and lead her to his room. They hid and Kenny started to cry. He held his sister close and grasped her hand tightly.

"Don't worry. We're safe up here," Then, his intoxicated dad came in the room. "Fuck," he mumbled.

"You know what I really love?" His dad smiled, "Dead kids." Then, he started to laugh. The bottle, still in his hand. Kenny's sister tried to escape, but the father beat her with the glass bottle and she bled everywhere, no longer breathing. Kenny ran behind his dad and tripped his dad, knocking him out. Kenny checked his sister for signs of breathing. Nothing. She was dead. Why wasn't it Kenny? He was the immortal one after all. The, he grabbed his dead sister and ran out the door with her. He cried as he ran out with her.

"I'm so sorry…"


End file.
